It has been

a long time since I haven't wake up early in the morning, at my house, with my mother and father in there, with my siblings, having breakfast along, watching tv together, especially Wipeout reality show. All of us love it. Burst into laugh together how I miss it. But what can I do. Time is keeping rolling without stopping at any waqaf. I'm big though I don't feel so. I can actually get married already but it is not compatible with now age. People nowadays are getting married at the age of more than twenty, rarely below twenty.

So, I have to pursue my study, discover everything, because studying is a Fardhu, it is obligate. Even in the Quran, Prophet Muhammad was told to recite, with the help of pens and papers if I were not mistaken, mentioned along.

How I wish, not to grow, any bigger, to stay near my mother and father. My mother will always gonna be a mother, and my father also. How I wish to be next to my mother, with her homecook meals, and father, with his joke of going to buy a new Kak Long because his existing Kak Long is soo naughty. How I wish my mother and father will never grow in age, so that someday, I won't lose them. I can't imagine. Afraid to lose.

When I was still a little girl, I always wanted to grow. I went to the counter, but I cannot see the receptionist, so I can't wait to grow older. I went home from school (primary school), I saw secondary school, stepping out of the school bus, laughing in cheers, and thought of please I wanna grow and be like them. For short, when I was little, I thought being an adult is the best and so I really cannot wait!

Now I am an adult. Not too old, but this age is the age I always wanted to try on. But now I know that being their small daughter is the best. Being next to them is the best. Before, I always wanted to get out of the school, as soon as possible! Sick of the rules and so whatever. But never thinking of, the moment that I will face like today.

I miss the time, crossing the road with another hand, holding to mine. I miss the time when, waiting for someone to pick me up, out of the school gate. I miss the time, when someone told me stories that I laughed so much.  I miss the time, when someone used to fix my scarf, powdered my face, early in the morning before going to school. I miss the time when, someone hugged me when I got high fever. I miss the time, when I got pinched because of my carelessness. I miss the time when, we were surrounding you, and you were lying down, telling us the origin of each of us, amusingly you picked me from the dustbin. I miss that time when, you called me Niraaa ohhh Niraaa loudly, as the sign, that you are mad at me for something and so my heartbeat would increase. A lot of time that I missed.

I accept the fact that time won't stand still. However, I will always be your daughter, no matter how big I am, I will always need to rely on you guys. I can't stand alone. Mom I miss you. If I could run to you everyday, everyday I will.